Breaking the law

As a retired cop I remember a little of the law and ordinances I enforced. Sure, there has probably been a few minor changes since I left. One of the pet peeves I have had all of my adult life is a weird one. I don't remember when it started or why. I have such a dislike for the practice that it brings out a very emotional response. I truly cannot take the ritual of stopping traffic for funeral. It drives me mad that the dead have more rights than the living. That the families of someone who is gone now has more of a right to time than my families needs. I cannot wrap my brain around it, and yes I have heard all the arguments. Oh you should have more respect and sensitivity. Why me, why does the public have to give up their freedoms for what is now an inanimate object? It sounds cold and crude but I think of all the living people it effects so that you all can have a nice neat line at the cemetery.

This is not the first time I have had a run in with the rent a cops that stop traffic. Back in 2003 I was running late to work and got stopped by a rent a jockey while I was in full uniform. I always thought they had some kind of authority then I went into the traffic code and found that is was actually a violation for these funeral lines to impede traffic. So here I am trying to get through and I politely wait for a break to cut through the miles of cars. As I pull through the security guard pulls his Kawasaki into the path of my car. I jumped out of the car and reached for my handcuffs. Damn I wanted to arrest this fool. As I was telling him to get the hell out of my way, I hope that he would observe I was wearing a real police uniform and badge. No, what does he do he starts yelling at me. "Don't you have and respect for the dead"? I really truly thought about it, in those few seconds I went deep within and made a moral decision. "No"! "So if you don't get out of my way I am going to put your ass in jail"! The guy yelled back about the deceased being some high level Mason which annoyed me even more.

It took him a second but he relent and I got to work on time. Why, why do the dead have to make such an imposition on the living? I have already directed my heirs to don't even dare do this. I even told them to do something funny for me. As everyone is in line to get there to get in the slow lane, roll down the windows and wave the traffic along. I am dead. I am not in a hurry. So I say all this because I had a little road rage incident yesterday. I was trying to get to a very important meeting. This meeting had the potential to expand my business and benefit my families bottom line. I wanted to make a good impression and be there early or on time. So guess what cuts me off as I am making my turn to my meeting in Coppell, a rent a cop escorting a funeral. My blood pressure boiled as the line just went on and on and on. I waited and waited, the line had no end. I saw some cops at the corner not thinking they were part of the deal. I was officially late so I saw a small break and cut through. So I look in my rear view mirror and see lights. I was like, Hell no, a security guard is not trying to pull me over. I was stunned to see a Coppell police officer pulling me over. I had the opposite reaction most of you would have.

I was pissed. I know that the transportation code hadn't changed so much to allow this to be legal now. So I jumped angrily out of the car and yelled at the officer,"He can stopped traffic, he is not a cop"! I caught myself for a second thinking, hey this is a brother in blue, and then he said the wrong thing. "That man is authorized by the transportation code to perform these duties". Damn this cop just lied to me. I yelled back, "I retired as a cop not too long ago, and I don't remember that being in the code". So he pulled me over and we had it out. It was a rich back and forth. He insulted me for being insensitive, I insulted him for pulling me over without a legal reason. I said crazy things, he said offensive things. The line I remember most was when he called me "Dude". "Dude"? I said. "I am not a dude, I am a sir". I could not believe this was coming out of my mouth. "You will address me as sir as I am addressing you". I'm crazy and I went for broke. So after some final inappropriate question which I knew for damn sure violated a few state laws by the officer I said, "your gonna take my license or what"? It was as if I was transported into a world where nothing I could say was a cause for him to cite or arrest me. My question is this. If I had not told him I was a retired police officer would it have gone down the same way?

The officer walked away and to add to his insult I insisted he give me his name and badge number. Reluctantly he went to his motor and brought back a card. I told them to move away from my vehicle because I didn't want them accusing me of trying to hurt them. They stood their ground and I peeled off through some dust at them. Ha! I was triumphant. I showed those officers, my freedom of speech won the day, or did it. As the adrenaline wore off a sense of guilt set in. Though I knew I was technically and legally correct, was I correct in using that knowledge to my advantage? Should I have lorded my rights over the whole situation for my personal gain. I started feeling real crappy during my meeting with this new business relation and told him the whole story. I even shared what I was feeling and that maybe I should be the bigger man and apologize to the officer without the hope he would do the same ever. I think I made more than a business partner being this real, I made a friend. So as I was driving away I picked up the card and found his email address. I sent an apology and asked for forgiveness. I even told him he would never again hear from me. Meaning I wouldn't go to internal affairs even though I had the right and the ammo to do so. This new business relation said I would be blessed for doing so, it was a small on but it was the same day.

As I was dropping my kid and his girlfriend at the ballpark, my car ran out of gas. Within two minutes my car was surrounded by Arlington cops. I explained what happened and who I was. Within minutes gas was brought to my vehicle and I was treated with respect and we all had a laugh at the retired Dallas PD guy who ran out of gas. We all shook hands and I sent a commendation  email to the officers employers. The lesson I learned is that even thought we have a right and are right, there are good reasons to not exercise  them. That withholding your right may make someone else's life a little easier, a little more meaningful. Maybe some day I will run back into that Coppell cop and I can extend my hand and offer a face to face apology. He didn't deserve it. I still will hate funeral processions, but I might wait, might!