Tiffany brain in a Walmart world.

I look around me and see machines. I have an autistic son so I understand a need for routine and pattern. My son depends on the expected to function. Though he is completely communicative and high functional, whatever is wired differently inside needs predictability. Are we all not far from the autistic? How much do we depend on things being the way they are? I thrive on chaos, but for those around me I conform. My mind desires change and adventure. Maybe that's why I became a police officer years ago. So that I can experience the unpredictability of the criminal mind. I quickly became bored of it too, there was a pattern to their madness. So maybe there is no chaos theory. Can every action no matter how impulsive be a pattern?

I think quickly and can solve complex problems for other but not myself. I've been told I have a Ferrari mind with ten speed brakes. I look at my son and see how comfortable he is in his schedule, he smile because he knows exactly what's coming next. I wish I could be content with knowing. Knowing exactly what is coming next in our country and world. Ignorance is bliss. I believe that now. Would you take a path if you knew you would trip in the middle of your walk? What if you had to trip to avoid a branch hitting your head? I want to walk that path. I don't want it to be easy. There is some joy in the suffering. Suffering makes you feel alive. Surviving heightens the senses.

So in this humble ice cream shop where my son is devouring his double dip of chocolate ice cream, I reflect on the knowledge that those around have little knowledge of the coming hardships we will endure as a country. Mistakes decades in the making have propelled us to the edge of the cliff and we are playing chicken in a car that has no brakes. I hope the emergency brake is working. Maybe I should just throw on my baseball hat, have a dip of snuff and get in my pickup truck to drive home. Get in the driveway open the door and let the the television tell me it's all going to be OK. My Tiffany brain won't let me. Will it let you?